Revealing How I Found Myself in Motherhood

I was not a woman who had baby fever, or planned out my pregnancy or dreamed about my future children. In fact, I was the opposite – I wasn’t even sure I wanted to have kids. I figured I would, especially since my husband wanted them, but I wasn’t overly excited about it. That changed dramatically once Aiden arrived. Becoming a mom transformed me into a much better version of myself. There are days I sit back and wonder what happened. Like how could one little thing (OK, it’s kind of a big thing…) change my life just like that? Here are the things I found through motherhood:

rediscover yourself in motherhood

Revealing How I Found Myself in Motherhood

The ability to ‘let go’

Becoming a mom seriously changes your point of reference. Instead of the world revolving around you (whether you admit it or not), it suddenly revolves around this little person. You now have to worry, not only about yourself, but about him and his future hopes and dreams. I used to care very much about what people thought of me. I would have anxiety about asking questions, or bringing too much attention to myself. I was a perfectionist in the worst way – every aspect of my life had to be perfect. Now that Aiden is here, I no longer care what people think.  As far as perfection, I let go of that too. There is no perfect when it comes to raising a baby, just like there is no perfect in life.

True confidence

Nothing will give you a huge confidence boost like being solely responsible for the life of a tiny human who can’t do much of anything. He can’t tell you how he is feeling, if he is hurt or hungry. He can’t even move from one point to another without your help.  Motherhood is sink or swim. I believe that most women swim. For me, the new confidence I found followed me in other areas of my life too. It’s an amazing feeling!


If you asked anyone who knew me pre-pregnancy if I was a patient person, I am certain every one of them would say NO.  Well, after the fourth trimester, baby gas, sleepless nights (and days) and teething I think it’s safe to say I learned patience.  Babies cry and scream, sometimes for hours. I would say maybe 2% of the time we knew what was wrong, the remaining 98% we were trying to guess. If nothing else, babies definitely teach patience.

The ability to slow down

I am 100% your stereotypical East Coast girl, I am go, go, go all the time. Before having a baby I was happiest to have my time constantly filled. With a baby, everything takes 300% more time – just getting out of the house is a project sometimes. However, time flies. The days are long, but the years are short as they say. Now, I have the opportunity to watch Aiden experience things for the first time – which is pretty incredible!  The other day I was content to sit with him for an hour as he picked up a card and dropped it on different points on the floor so he could practice picking it up. He was so proud of himself and I was proud of him. In this fast paced world, where our society is so into instant gratification, I have learned that it is actually nice to take a step back and slow down. Not to mention I see how fast Aiden is growing and I don’t want to miss a second of these amazing (and sometimes even not so amazing) baby moments.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I have ever done, but easily the most rewarding. How has motherhood changed you?

This post was written by Melissa from the blog, Hi, I’m Melissa! I am a mama to my little baby boy Aiden Milo (born November 2015), and a police wife to my husband Dan. We live in Northern Virginia. I work full time as a meeting planner for two non-profits, one of which is international, so I travel several times a year. When we brought Aiden home we were smacked with a huge dose of reality, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. I now share my experiences and adventures of being a first-time mama on my blog to hopefully help other first time moms. You can connect with her more on here: Instagram: @Ltlmissmeliss, Twitter: @Castanonboard, or Facebook

P.S. If you enjoyed this piece, you may also like How Many Chances Will I Have To Hold My Baby? “Mommy, hold you.” This is my baby’s daily request for me to hold her. She asks me to do this several times a day, especially when she is tired. We sit in the rocking chair with a blanket and I hold her. I sing, read, or just talk to her while she twirls my hair in her tiny fingers. In these moments…

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  1. I enjoyed reading this so much! There is so much change that happens when we start our journey in mommy hood. Motherhood has really helped me to slow down and really be intentional about how I go about interacting with my kiddos. Those moments that seem so little leave an imprint in our hearts forever! Thank you for sharing!
  2. I agree that motherhood will teach you patience. I can say that I truly found myself after the birth of our son. Thanks for sharing. Shatreka
  3. Enjoyed reading this, it was lovely to see your happiness shine through your words. You are right that being a mother is the most important job that we will ever have, and what a wonderful job it is, nothing compares, all that unconditional love; you're right it is an amazing feeling. Coming without a manual, so to speak, becoming a Mother can't not change you, and we all know that learning to fly by the seat of your pants always has its down side, but when your up there, and you know you got it right, you just soar and enjoy each moment. When we enjoy being a mother our confidence grows and we are open to our maternal knowing, the innate and natural growth of mothering. Our mothering then begins to become an innate skill, a talent especially designed for our own baby(or babies), as our love and experience grows deeper so does our skill. I think that for some women it can be a longer process to feel comfortable and at ease with being a mother, we all have different expectations, often shaped by our circumstances, roads can sometimes be bumpy and we can need assistance to help us through. I think you referred to this as being a sink or swim process, and that is so true. Thanks for sharing your journey.
    • Wow, Elaine. Thank you for sharing your beautiful perspective on motherhood, it is truly inspiring.
  4. I love this! If you knew me post babies, vs now, you would see how much it has changed me! and for the better! I love my kiddos and they have taught me so much! Thank you for this wonderful post!

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