10 Secrets No One Shares About Late Pregnancy (Humor)

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Inside: A list of 10 secrets no one shares about late pregnancy symptoms that is sure to give you a good laugh. Discover the truth about the juicy third-trimester pregnancy symptoms.

It was 4:00 in the morning and I had to pee, AGAIN. I was in late pregnancy, the end of my third trimester to be exact, and I was waking up at least once a night. And that was just one of the many pregnancy symptoms I experienced toward the end of my pregnancy.

I laughed with my friend telling her I think it’s my body’s crazy way of preparing my swollen body for what was to come soon.

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Every woman’s pregnancy journey is different, but I think we can all get a good laugh from this list of 10 secrets no one shares about late pregnancy symptoms.

MORE: What To Say To A Pregnant Woman And 3 Things To Avoid

10 Secrets No One Shares About Late Pregnancy

Warning: Late pregnancy humor following, sense of humor required. 🙂

1. Everything starts to swell.

Her wedding ring doesn’t fit anymore. Her once slim hands, now look like five little sausages that have been sewn together. Body appendages swell, including her ankles, nose, and her butt.

2. She has more in common with her grandma.

As the baby lodges his head deep into her hips, pressing down with all of his body weight, any sudden baby movement can cause a close call or an immediate trip to the bathroom.

MORE: Survival Guide for the Sleep Deprived Parent: 7 Strategies to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night

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3. She. Can’t. Breathe.

It sounds like she just ran a marathon after climbing a single flight of stairs. This is thanks to all of her organs between her armpits and her hips having to share the space with the baby.

4. She can’t stop peeing.

It’s not uncommon during the super pregnant phase, to wake up several times during the night with a sudden urge to pee. Hopefully, she is one of the lucky ones who can fall right back to sleep. If not, hopefully, she can at least stay comfortable with pregnancy favorites.

5. She waddles when she walks.

As hard as she may try to avoid this when the baby drops like a bowling ball between her hips, she will get her waddle on like a duck.

6. She is full of extra body fluids.

That’s right, if the previous items aren’t glamorous enough, just add the fluid increase coming from all sorts of body parts. Her body can’t keep itself from ramping up production of extra liquids.

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7. Her bedtime changes.

In fact, she may revert to falling asleep at the same time as her seven-year-old self. She may reach a point when she cannot will her eyes to stay open any longer and passes out like she’s been drugged. She will make up for getting this extra sleep later, refer back to number four.

8. She snores now.

With the extra weight she’s gained, it’s likely she’ll have the pleasure of experiencing snoring.

9. She may think, “Is it physically possible for me to get any bigger?”

When she looks in the mirror, it’s hard to fathom how it will be possible for her body, especially her belly, to get any bigger during the weeks she has left before the baby arrives.

10. Giving a urine sample becomes a scary situation.

Trying to leave a urine sample at the doctor’s office can be an unpredictable guessing game. No matter how she tries to lift her belly up, push it to the side, crane her neck, there’s just no seeing around it. So she will have to cross her fingers and pray she gets some in the cup. If not, there is no need to worry, she will have to go again in 20 minutes.

MORE:  Surprising Secrets That New Dads Don’t Talk About

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Wrapping Up Late Pregnancy Symptoms

In all seriousness, the end of pregnancy signs are sometimes awful or uncomfortable but the beautiful miracle a woman’s body creates is worth it. There are a few late pregnancy symptoms not to ignore that you can find here.

Pregnancy was full of crazy body changes for me both physically and emotionally. I wish you the best on your pregnancy journey. If you are getting ready for baby to come, you may want to check out this Survival guide.

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If you enjoyed this piece, you may also enjoy Baby’s First Week Home: What You Really Need to Buy. “Having a baby will bring a whole new dose of glorious reality into your life. You’ll have questions about what you need for the baby, for the house, and for yourself. So I put this list together to help you sort out the real necessities for bringing baby home! I’m a simple girl and I don’t like spending money on things that I don’t really need, so you’re only going to see my absolute must-haves on this list, the things that truly got me through those first few weeks at home with a new baby.”

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